‘My name is Hercule Poirot and I am probably the greatest detective in the world’ – Murder on the Orient Express, 2017

I know, I know, a day late again. Slap on the wrist and all that! Though I do have an excuse – I was off Sunday night watching Murder on the Orient Express for you all, and would have had no time to write anything before Monday anyway.
It’s fine… we’ll just blame my cinema buddy, Luke!

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Poirot and the murder train! – Murder on the Orient Express, 20th Century Fox, 2017 

The Murder on the Orient Express is a detective novel, by Agatha Christie, featuring the well known detective Hercule Poirot. This case was seemingly the most popular case he ever undertook, in or outside of the United Kingdom, so it’s understandable why Kenneth Branagh (both director and Poirot) decided to do this particular case – honestly, I couldn’t name another big case that Poirot did, which is awful I know.

All we know in this film is that someone has died, and there are twelve suspects; The Professor, Butler, Count (and Countess, but she’s ruled out early on), Assistant, Governess, Missionary, Widow, Salesman, Maid, Princess and Doctor. While watching I legitimately had no idea how any of them did it, and I spent all the movie like that (I haven’t read the book though, so it makes sense why they all did).

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Our suspects, all 13 of them – Murder on the Orient Express, 20th Century Fox, 2017

All in all, I really liked Murder on the Orient Express. It was interesting to watch such prolific actors portray the 1930s – the outfits, accents and the whole thing just felt early 1900s, and I loved it. I wanted all their dresses, that’s for sure.
Before I start my critique, which sounds like I hated the movie for all it’s worth, I really didn’t. I’m really glad I went to see it. I promise I did like it! 
It may have had a really slow start, which both Luke and I agreed on; it didn’t need to show me that Poirot was the best detective in the world, everyone knows that – literally everyone. I felt like at least three of the characters didn’t need to be there – sorry Professor, Salesman and Missionary (and perhaps even the Count). They had no story to them, they were there for absolutely nothing and I think Branagh missed a trick by making them integrated into other characters. It may seem fine for a book, but it made the screen messy. I was actually disappointed with some of the acting. It was almost like Branagh being in the movie and directing it meant that he missed some of the wooden and static words. At parts it felt like he even said “No, no, no. Do it MORE wooden.” There were parts where Daisy Ridley (the Governess) barely showed anything, it was like she was forced to.
My last issue was some of the shocking CGI. It’s 2017, and yet there were times where the background looked stunning, but the train looked like someone had cut it out of cardboard and stuck it onto the foreground – it was so 2D it hurt.

I don’t know if I would have paid to see this in an IMAX or at a big cinema, but I am glad I went to see it. I love adaptations, as you guys know, and this wasn’t a bad one. Bar my critiques, I would really suggest you guys see it, even if you wait till it comes out on DVD or onto your subscription service.

Catch the trailer below!

 

[Header Image: Murder on the Orient Express, 20th Century Fox, 2017]

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‘I think I saw something I shouldn’t have…’ – Alfie, 2010-Present

Happy Monday everyone! I know it’s the start of the week, but don’t fret – your neighbourhood Librarian is here and she is ready to get reviewing. This week I’ve decided to use the break that Incase is on to give them some props for AlfieYou may remember when I spoke about them previously, and here we are to finally review their comic! This has been in the pipeline for a while, I’m sorry it’s taken so long!

DISCLAIMER: Alfie is 100% an adult comic, with lots of adult themes, including depictions of sexual acts. I will make this review as family friendly as possible, but be warned – clicking to the comic (even the first page) leads to scenes of an adult nature. Let it be known that I completely warned you that, by the second page sexual acts have begun… Well, if you’re still here that means you’re old enough to read this… 

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Page 1 of Alfie, she’s watching something VERY adult! – Alfie, Incase, 2010-Present

Alfie is about a halfling who, funnily enough, is called Alfie. She lives in a small village with her mother and father, and goes about her day as if it were no other. It’s Spring of the year 1147, and a human and elf caravan has come to the small Halfling town on Pickering.

Alfie accidentally stumbles upon her best friend Melly getting uh… very friendly with one of the humans, whom she is cheating on her husband with. What you see to your left is the first page of Alfie and that is exactly what she is watching. As I said before, you were warned this was adult.

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Alfie with, her human boyfriend? lover? Partner?, Marco – Alfie, Incase, 2010-Present

What I like about Alfie is, not only is it gorgeously drawn, but it uses a fantasy setting (which is a completely fledged world that Incase has written, might I add), it develops it’s characters through their sexual exploits with others, and how they get into them. For instance, Alfie’s mum, Vera, gets into a storyline about making an elf some implements for his own pleasure. Through this story we see her grow as a character; we see her hatred for her husband and why she hates him, we see why she thinks Alfie is a failure, but also why they’re very alike as people.

All in all, I really like Alfie, and I’m sorry that Incase has had to take a hiatus. Hopefully they feel better soon. Here’s a link to that page and their explanation. They seem like a cool person, and I wish them all the best.
If you’re old enough to, really do give Alfie a read. Yes, occasionally the sex is gratuitous but you will find characters you love and those you hate. I am, and always will be, team Marco!

Do you like online comics? What about ones that explore sexuality and relationships? Think it should be kept off the internet or open for everyone to share? Leave a comment down below! 

[Header Image: Alfie, Incase, 2010-Present]

‘I don’t need a babysitter anymore’ – The Babysitter, 2017

Ignore the fact that this is a day late, but I wanted to get in on the Halloween action!
As mentioned before, I am a massive pansy who can’t watch a horror movie. Queue Halloween, one of my favourite holidays but I just can’t watch the movies. I am, however, better if a) I have a pillow/person to hide behind and b) they’re just parodies of horror movies – all the blood and guts and not much of the scary. Jump scares are my number one arch nemesis. Luckily for me I had a little bit of a) and b) – The Babysitter is what I would class as a parody of the genre.

 

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Getting real Carrie vibes from this! – The Babysitter, Netflix, 2017

The Babysitter is about a boy named Cole, who is very much too old to have a babysitter – said babysitter being Bee. But he doesn’t really care because she is extremely attractive. And she’s also a massive nerd; which works well for Cole – seeing as he’s a massive nerd. Did I mention massive nerd enough?

 

I found the amount of blood and gore to be maybe a bit OTT, but for the genre it was expected. Though there were definitely times where I turned away and said something like “ewww”, which did make my boyfriend laugh. It was more than once for sure… he would say it was most of the time – I will argue that one till the cows come home!

 

 

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Bee confronting Cole after he wakes up – The Babysitter, Netflix, 2017

My main point of contention is that the gang that Bee works with, including Disney Star Bella Thorne – she has branched out since my childhood!, just seem to all… without spoilers, disappear too quickly. I didn’t get to learn anything about them, though that’s kind of part of the genre, letting stereotypes of people bite the bullet. I would like to say that the black guy didn’t die first… but I’m not sure I can really say that… You’ll have to watch and see to understand what I mean about that.

I really liked The Babysitter. It didn’t scare me to death, which I appreciate, and it made me laugh a lot. It was a good horror-movie, and one I would recommend for fans of the parody genre; it was very akin to the Scary Movie franchise.

Have you seen the Babysitter? What did you think? Love the blood and gore? Would you watch other horror parodies? Leave a comment down below!

[Header Image: The Babysitter, Netflix, 2017]

 

No New Review This Week! – 23/10/17

 

Sorry, guys!

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Me right now – Mean Girls, Paramount, 2004

 

 

I have caught the flu, so am feeling pretty sorry for myself. I attempted to read Ms. Marvel, but nothing went in – tune in next week for that!

 

 

 

While I’m absent, check out:

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Luke’s Logo! 

My illustrator, Luke Ridge on his WebsiteFacebook, Instagram and Twitter. He drew my amazing logo and headers. He’s a great nerdy artist – I think he’s currently working on Star Wars things! Give him a good lot of love!

 

 

And also check out:

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Seb’s Logo! 

My collaborator, Seb Tudor (aka Man on the Silver Mountain). You can find him over on Youtube, Twitter and Facebook!  We collaborate regularly, and play loads of games together! He’s a Life Coach by trade, but does videos on games as well as life tips! Go give him a watch and a like!

 

 

Sorry I couldn’t be around this week! Please give my friends some love – they appreciate it! 

 

What I’m Watching at the Moment – Autumn 2017

Hi boys and girls, just a quick one today as I’m having some laptop issues, so I’m having to try out my new tablet – someone remind me to get IT to come help me!
I’m watching a whole load of different series at the moment, so I thought I would give you guys a (very) brief insight into my thoughts for them all. Autumn is the time for new shows to come out, so I am so excited to wrap up warm, turn on the (fake) fire and sit with a ‘Soya Chai Latte’ to watch Netflix/Amazon/Sky etc.

Outlander, Season 3

Droughtlander is over and we finally have new Outlander. I’m going to be completely honest with you guys, the first half of this season has been slow. I am not the biggest fan of Brianna, though I love Roger, and feel like 20 years was way too far ahead to jump. I know the book fans will chastise me for saying it but creative lisense is a thing they’ve used before, and I think it was a missed opportunity to use it here. Catriona Balfe and Sam Heughan barely look a day over 30, so I don’t know how they’ll pull off them being in their 50s. I am also sad to see that Joe will no longer be in it, I thought he was a good character. Perhaps he can traverse the stones too.

Man in the High Castle, Season 2

I’m late to the party with this one, but I love Man in the High Castle. It’s an alt-history of WWII; What if Hitler had won the war? Season 1 ended with us finding out that the reality that Juliana etc. are from is not the “true reality” (our reality). It’s a real indepth look into History, and I really enjoy it. I am only one episode into Season 2, and really hope to finish it before Season 3 comes out, or I will be running from spoilers left, right and center!

Riverdale, Season 2

Holy crap, what an entrance! Finishing last season on the HUGE cliffhanger of ‘Will Fred Andrews make it?’, episode 1 of Riverdale Season 2 has not failed to deliver the goods. It’s still as dark as ever, Jughead still might become a Southside Serpent, Archie still might have a complete break down, and now there’s a mass murder on the loose? I’m so excited for what this Season brings us, and I am so happy that it came out way before a year – which is what happens with other shows usually – I just couldn’t wait that long! Plus… I needed my weekly fix of Cole Sprouse… Don’t judge me!

Star Trek: Discovery, Season 1

I am watching the new Star Trek as someone who watched little of the old ones; my excuse being I was too young when they came out, or they were way before my time. I have watched the Picard movies (Insurrection will always be my favourite) and I have also seen the new Star Treks by J.J. Abrams. I do feel like this is a step away from the usual Star Trek that we’re used to. I really like Jason Issacs, the big water bear and Slyvia Tilly but currently that’s about it.

The Gifted, Season 1

Oh Em Gee, this is amazing! I loved Logan, as seen in another review, and this is set in the same world (not 100% for sure on it, but it feels very much like the gritty Logan-verse.) I love Stephen Moyer, and have done since True Blood, when he played Vampire Bill! He plays a good protective character in TV shows. I am excited to see where this show goes, I love me a good X-Men anything, my ringtone is the 90s theme tune (Just like Eclipse in the show!)

That’s all I can think I’m watching (that’s interesting to you guys at any rate.) Perhaps I’ll make this a seasonally segment!

Have you seen any of these shows? What did you think of any of them – love or hate? I would love to know! Leave a comment down below!


‘I’m going through changes’ – Big Mouth, 2017

Good ol’ Netflix, bringing out good ol’ television shows, where I can just binge watch it. Big Mouth is about the awkwardness of growing up, something which everyone does. Though I wouldn’t be showing it to your prepubescent child anytime soon.  Definitely 18+.

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Andrew, Nick and Jessi enjoying a movie with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson in it! – Big Mouth, Netflix, 2017

Big Mouth is based around Nick Kroll and Andrew Goldberg’s childhood within the New York suburbs, with Kroll voicing his fictionalised self. If the Nick in his is exactly like him, I feel so sorry for him – his life was crazy!
Andrew has grown up faster than Nick has, both to each others disappointment.  Nick is barely the height of Andrew’s shoulder, whereas Andrew is having feelings for anything with legs – apparently, that’s how boys work. Jessi, their female friend, is also going through changes. In one of the episodes, she gets her first ever period. At least girl wise,  I think that they got it properly spot on.

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Andrew and his hormone monster, Maury. Their relationship is a bit… peculiar – Big Mouth, Netflix, 2017

I wouldn’t say that it’s the best written show in the world. I know that one of the reasons it’s on Netflix is because they wanted to make the most outrageous cartoon on television. I honestly think they managed it. It may be in the same vein as the Simpsons, Family Guy or King on the Hill but it has a certain… charming quality about it. Unlike the other shows, it feels like you can put yourself in their shoes, they’re just kids at the end of the day. The hormone monsters are pretty hilarious, and (though I wouldn’t say -they’re- true to life) the idea of crazy hormones is. At one point, Jessi is obsessed with finding a pretty bra. Most bras are nude, boring and comfortable. She wants something daring – bright red and gorgeous. It was funny, but also true to life.

I really recommend people watch it, as long as they’re 18+ of course!

Catch out a trailer down below!

 

[Header Image: Big Mouth, Netflix, 2017]

‘Star Fleet doesn’t fire first’ – Star Trek Discovery, 2017

I went over to Luke’s over the weekend and we decided to watch the first two episodes of Star Trek Discovery which is now out on Netflix. My favourite Trek era is Patrick Stewart, mostly because I love Deanna Troi and William Ryker’s relationship. I was very disappointed with Nemesis, because it didn’t feel much like the others (also I had to be told it was Tom Hardy – that man can change his appearance so easily!)

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Three of the new crew, from left to right; Saru, Michael Burnham and Philippa Georgiou – Star Trek Discovery, Netflix, 2017

Discovery is set roughly ten years before the events of Star Trek: The Original Series, and shows the united Klingon houses in a cold war with the United Federation of Planets that involves the crew of the USS Discovery. 
The first point I want to bring up is – why is it set in the past? Why does everything have to be set as a prequel now? The technology is so advanced, in real life I mean, that it all looks out of place!
The jaunty angles of the filming made me feel a bit sea-sick. I understand you’re trying to show me that we’re in space, and that there isn’t any real gravity, but surely if I’m meant to be on the ship I would feel like I’m walking in a flat line, not up a hill?

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Showing you how small we all really are – Star Trek Discovery, Netflix, 2017

Discovery is a lot like the new movies. The filming is very much the same as J.J Abrams movies. I am not against these movies, mostly because I never really saw the originals other than a few episodes here or there – age and all that. They’re trying to play into this franchise, the movies are doing so well and it’s going to make this do well.
The characters just don’t seem well rounded. I am just disappointed…

I do have to point out that a good sci-fi doesn’t mean it’s a good Star Trek, and I do think this falls far from the mark. I’ll watch the next part of the series, and hope with baited breath it gets better.

Did you like the new Star Trek? What did you think? Enjoying Michael as a character? What about Saru? Leave a comment down below! 

[Header Image: Star Trek Discovery, Netflix, 2017]

‘My daughters are trained for battle, sir, not the kitchen’ – Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, 2016

I apologise for missing a day! I’ve been pretty hectic with work and preparing for my MA which starts Thursday (eep! Scary times!) and I completely lost track of days. I was sure that it was Sunday, not Monday, until I just looked at the calendar. Oops! Anyway – onto the review!

At university I did English Literature, so I was obviously going to come across Jane Austen. While I didn’t read Pride and Prejudice there I read it at school for my GCSEs and at college for my A-Levels. I remember sitting in a Waterstones when I was in my teens and seeing this parody. I just knew I had to read it. And there I sat for hours, reading (and not buying, I know naughty naughty) Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. 

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The Bennett sisters, with their martial art skills! – Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, Lionsgate, 2016

My favourite thing about Pride and Prejudice (and thus Pride, Prejudice and Zombies) is that it is set in Hertfordshire. Because of this I half know where things are, being Hertfordshire bred myself. What makes me laugh about this adaptation, however, is the idea of zombies running around our countryside.
In Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, London is where the zombie apocalypse has been quarantined. Or so they thought. The film begins with Mr Darcy, travelling to a stately home in Hertfordshire, as he has been told there has been a zombie sighting nearby. He carries carrion flies with him, which are how he detects zombies living among humans. In this adaptation becoming a zombie is not instant. After being bitten one can live among humans for some time, even if they know they are to be changing into the undead sometime soon. Carrion flies have a unique ability, Darcy tells the people in the house, they can detect undead flesh before it has changed.

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Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley watching their respective (future) ladies – Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, Lionsgate, 2016

While this movie got some rather bad reviews (scoring barely even 50% on Rotten Tomatoes), probably by those who don’t believe in changing the classic or creative-license, I really like this movie. There’s something about it that captivates me – it’s cast is amazing and very much like the characters in the book and adaptation. I really enjoy the idea of people getting on with their lives, in the 19th century no less, and occasionally beating up zombies.

One of my favourite things was how useless Mr. (sorry, Parson) Collins is. He’s the Bennett’s cousin, but unlike them was not trained in the martial arts of China. He merely lets the women kill and stands there looking pretty gormless. I don’t think religion will save him here!

Did you watch Pride, Prejudice and Zombies? Did you like it? Were you angry it was adapted to include zombies? Leave a comment down below! 

[Header Image: Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, Lionsgate, 2016]

‘Jim, these are not robot questions’ – Passengers 2016

So much to do, such little time. I graduated university last week, and my whole weekend had been spent partying that I had no time to write. I start my Masters within the month though, so by the end of September we’ll be back to a regular schedule!

When Passengers came out I was not writing this blog. Now it’s out on Sky Cinema I thought I’d give it another watch.
I would like to preface this with – I loved Passengers the first time, and I don’t hate it now. I know this movie got a lot of slack, but I find it hard to see why.

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The ship Avalon, with Aurora and Jim, watching as they sling shot around a star – Passengers, Columbia Pictures, 2016

Passengers tells the story of Jim Preston, who woke up 90 years too early. He’s an engineer, who could only afford standard boarding on the Avalon – the ship which is going to take everyone to Homestead II, to make a new colony. He’s one of the lucky ones, given a discounted ticket because of his job, and decides to head to a better world. Except, it doesn’t go very well.
Poor Jim, who is by himself for a whole year, going completely crazy – he’s trapped on a ship, without a single person to talk to other than the android bartender Arthur, who’s more machine than man.

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Enjoying a movie together – Passengers, Columbia Pictures, 2016

Due to his loneliness he decides to wake up another passenger. Aurora is someone that Jim has slowly fallen in love with over the year he’s been by himself. I feel that this is where people have the issue – a man waking up another woman for his own needs. I don’t think that people understand Jim’s suffering at this point. He’s been alone for so long, that he literally can’t think straight. I would probably have done the same in his position. It was either wake up Aurora, or jump into space without a suit. Plus without waking her up he wouldn’t have been able to save the whole ship. They both fall in love with each other, two unlikely people being the only humans left.

All in all Passengers is still one of my favourite movies of 2016, even if other people hated it or found it unlikeable. I really recommend you give it a watch! Plus, it’s got Chris Pratt AND Jennifer Lawrence in it, what’s not to love!

Have you seen Passengers? Did you love or hate it? What was your opinion of Jim waking Aurora up? Leave a comment down below!

[Header Image: Passengers, Columbia Pictures, 2016]

 

‘Children want to read Fairy Tales. Adults want to read Superheroes’ – Superheroes Decoded,

I hope you enjoyed last weeks review from Man on the Silver Mountain! He’ll be back many times in the future, so look out for more posts from him!
In other news, I spent my time researching and came across Superheroes Decoded. It talks about the story of America and the history in conjuction with the Superhero story. From the 1930s to the blockbuster films of today, it details how they evolved to become a modern mythology – Superman equating to Hercules. The documentary includes film clips, vintage comic artwork and interviews with creators, experts and fans – including new creators such as Patty Jenkins, the director of 2017’s Wonder Woman, as well as George RR Martin or Neil Degrasse Tyson the scientist. They also have Stan Lee on, which is amazing because he literally wrote half of the Supers we know today!

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Even the Supers couldn’t get enough! – Superheroes Decoded, History, 2017

This documentary is amazing. It goes into some of the immense detail of each superhero, linking them to the history of the time.
Our first superhero, Superman, became a run away hit for Action Comics (later DC). He’s first seen throwing a car over a cliff. He was the first superhero to have a television and radio show, his own merchandise – his popularity was through the roof. His origin story is a modern legend – everyone knows that Jor El sends his son to Earth to save his life.
Our next big superhero was Batman, a complete opposite from Superman. Not a symbol of hope but almost a symbol of darkness. “Bring me something like superman but not Superman” – Batman is a superhero with a dark side.
Our next big supers were during the 1940s, which were our favourite captain, Captain America. The attack on Pearl Harbour threw Cap into the forefront of World War II comics. He is created as a super soldier, but his super power existed way before the serum was injected into him. Wonder Woman was created in 1941, empowering women to fight against Nazis and enemy spies at home.
This episode was a real indepth look into how our supers were formed, and it was an amazing watch. I found out things I never thought I would have known!

 

Episode one talks about our love of Legends, the Superheroes that have stayed with us forever. Episode two however talks about those breaking the mould. Not every hero wears a cape! This story is about the outsiders that were made to redefine what it means to be a superhero – think Defenders, Guardians of the Galaxy etc.

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1950’s comic history, here we come! – Superheroes Decoded, History, 2017

For instance, the X-Men are one of our rebels. The foundation of the Xmen; “We’re different but the same as everybody else.” The Sentinels were supposed to be bigots – the X-Men theme of fighting prejudice was an allegory about society, about how blacks fought back against whites. There are two factions in the X-Men; Charles Xavier who believes that they can all get on and Magneto who believes that X-Men are better than humans. This story is the story of the relationship between Martin Luther King and Malcolm X – King wanted an integrated society whereas Malcolm X wanted to keep fighting against society. Storm became the first female and black leader of a team, made to subvert the idea that only white men could be leaders. Jean Grey, no longer the token female, was changed into the super powered woman she was today – the woman we know as Phoenix. She has to be one of my favourite characters, her struggle for power, a woman that eats stars, versus her strive to do good.  The heroes and antiheroes of the X-Men really helped bring everyone together!
This brings us to The Falcon – Stan Lee wrote this to change the stereotypical idea about blacks and whites. He was significant, he was there to show that blacks and whites can and should work together. According to the documentary, he was made just after the Civil Rights act, the bringing together of people.
And what about Luke Cage? The man with the most amazing fashion sense and the best catch phrase “Sweet Christmas!” Cage’s origin is a man treated unfairly, going to jail for something he never did.

If there’s one thing I recommend you do, it’s watch Superheroes Decoded because if I explained EVERY SINGLE THING I wouldn’t have enough time to write everything! Catch it online or repeated on the History channel!

Catch the scene about the sexualisation of women in the ’90s below!

 

Did you see Superheroes Decoded? What was your thoughts – love the history or don’t really care? What was your favourite fact? Leave a comment below!

[Header Image: Superheroes Decoded, History, 2017]